Hi Nami. First off, please don’t feel you have to apologize for the length of your posts or asking questions of the community. I hope you feel free to express yourself fully on this forum.

Forgive me for possibly honing in on an unneccessary detail, but I am having difficulty wrapping my head around this “3 months” timeline. In your first post, it sounds like your boyfriend was pretty clear about things being over. You’ve given each other enough chances, the cycle of bad habits, etc. You met to “say goodbye” and that was that, painful as it was. Perhaps you’ve left out some details, but did you actually discuss reevaluating things together in three months, or because the block on the phone is automatically lifted in 3 months you assume that’s when you’ll be able to call him again and start campaigning to win him back? Because, to be honest, unless it was a deliberate separation with plans to reconvene later, the 3 months seems kind of arbitrary. You can remove a block on a phone number just as easily as you put one on. You are not “locked in” to the block. If the two of you want to dicuss things, there’s no reason you can’t even before this “deadline”. The reason I ask is because I’m concerned that you are delaying moving on from this relationship because of what may be false hope in having a “happy ending” with this man in 3 months. I do apologize if my words are harsh – my intentions are pure. Three months is a long time to spend flogging yourself over things that happened in the past. It’s wonderful that this experience has opened your eyes and caused you to look inward and improve upon yourself, but please do it for the goal of a happier, healthier you and not for some perceived prize of winning him back. He is not the only man in the world, and truth be told it takes two to make a relationship succeed (or fail). It’s admirable you are taking away your own issues and mistakes to work on, but he was a player in this as well. Perhaps you will find that this just wasn’t a great fit.