Hi Britt – First of all, may God and Angels comfort your heart. I am 6 months out of the relationship with the love of my life (I’m 56), and though we were together just 2 years, we took much the same road as you two have. We didn’t argue, but the end result was the same, we pulled the plug on the relationship, drug it out over a few months of touch and go, and ultimately, he ended it for good.

I will spare you the details, but it has been a very, very long road for me…he has moved on (actually reunited with his wife from 30 years ago…go figure), but I have wallowed in grief for months. I want to get over him once and for all, and I want my life back, but these things take time. It will take as long as it takes to grieve this loss you have suffered…you can’t rush it, you need to actually lean into it and hold that heartache until it heals.

Eventually, you will get to the place where he isn’t occupying your mind and heart every second. My guy has texted a few times too, which just reopens the wound and creates hope all over again that we can be reunited. I have finally gotten mad (it took forever) at some of the things he said to me and the way he treated me – and this is a guy I still love very much, but getting mad has helped me move on, because I want better and so do you.

Reality – I love him, but he cannot provide what I need, nor am I the one for him. It doesn’t mean that love isn’t present, it only means you can’t live together.

Remember that everyone comes into our lives for a reason, and we into theirs. Keep the good stuff, let go of the bad stuff and move on, when you are ready.

It sounds like he still wants to “keep his hand in play” because he knows you still care, which I don’t think is healthy for you as it is not for me. I can almost guarantee if you pursue this and the meaning or intent of his text, you will only get hurt again.

You are strong enough in yourself to know what you need and to make your own happiness. Let go or be dragged. It sounds like you have done a lot of hard work to get through your depression, believe me, I can relate – therapy, medication – and the very last thing either of us needs is to go backwards into the fray.

If you choose to do that ultimately, by God, make him work for it and earn your trust. You are better than that. Cultivate your self esteem, believe in tomorrow, visualize what you want in a partner down to the last detail and don’t settle for less especially from a man who does not respect, honor or cherish you.

You were rejected. I was rejected. It hurts like hell but it doesn’t mean we aren’t worthy and valuable people. It only means that he is not the one for you, for me.

What has finally helped me turn the corner was every time I think of him, I immediately follow up with a prayer to God for help and healing.

Maybe that will help you too…best of luck, hang in there. Don’t give your power away…especially to this guy who isn’t a good fit.