You can do this…you are smart and worthy. Do things that will build your confidence and self esteem and self love and will foster a positive attitude. Treat yourself with compassion, please try and change the script you are using on yourself…lonely, hurting, wasted years, acted like a fool, flaws, do this to yourself, isolated, comparing yourself, feeling awful about yourself, scared, scared, scared…see how hard you are on yourself, even about things which you could not be expected to control like your husband’s affairs. Please change all of those words into other words which build you up. You can do this… I did. I’m glad you are getting counseling…that should help. Best of luck, please hang in there, don’t give up…brighter days are coming for you. I hold you in my prayers.