Hi Jobebee,

Thanks so much for sharing such vulnerable and emotional parts of yourself in this forum! First I would like to give you encouragement to keep pushing forward and don’t give up on whatever you want to do with your life. I’m similar to you in the sense that I have a great life but my struggles on internal which shape my outer being and how I see myself. On another note, I understand how difficult it is for you to deal with your past as far as sexual abuse and how it can affect your sex life and intimate moments with your partner. Your partner must realize that you need to heal and feel comfortable with your body and FREELY giving yourself to someone else because YOU want to. A certain sense of trust and control must be restored. I encourage you to keep working through this piece of your life and only associate yourself with people who understand and truly get what it is life to be sexually abused and how bad the after effect is. It takes years to get over. Some people even battle with self esteem and guilt issues. No one can speak or determine your experiences and your life. No one can downplay what you have been through and how difficult and life changing that was. I also encourage you to really feel how you are feeling and think about what is missing from your life and how you can take steps in making it right. Think about how you feel when you have sex and why you feel the way you do? Think back to your experience and see if it is connected and how. Sometimes we have to go back to these moments and realize the emotional nutrition in them but be careful! Don’t go too far back as you do not want to relive these moments! Once again, I thank you so much for having the courage and strength to share such things in this forum. Keep pressing! 🙂