Wow thank you all so much for your advice. I wasn’t expecting such a great amount of feedback, what an amazing community.

I have tried to take at least one point from all of your posts to think about and work on. Fundamentally, I do have low self esteem and have spent a lot of time on this in the past, and will continue to develop and work on for years to come (I do yoga, swimming and surfing really helps me). I think I am only still here through comfort, I do love him, but not in the same way I suppose. His personal comments have become too personal. Moongal I found your post hard and distressing to read, but I suppose that’s because you’re right on the money. And Sanna, Jack, big Blue, Inky and Matt thanks for your compassion, yet clear and obvious advice. It is obvious isn’t it, what I should do… when I read my post back (pretending it’s someone else) I know exactly what I would say to that person-pretty much what you have said to me.

Aarti thank you so much for you’re post. You are such a strong woman to still be in this situation. I think we can both learn something from each other. I know I can’t say that much as we’re in a similar situation, but please do not waste anymore time with that man. He’s no man, he’s a manipulator. Let him stop eating for a bit etc, those actions are up to him, not you. Please be free and take your daughter with you. You both deserve better, so so so much better. And I’ll tell you what, I will try to do the same.

I know what I want. The thought of staying with this guy makes me feel depressed and anxious. Don’t get me wrong he is an alright guy, very generous, but I definitely do not want to be here forever. I suppose that says a lot. It’s funny how something can be staring you in the face and it’s not until you go on a forum and have 9 emotive and insightful posts replies, until you see what’s happening. Thanks again. Jobebee.

Thank you all again for your help. It’s up to me know.