Oh hi!

I didn’t get any kind of notice about someone mentioning me over here, and I stumbled across your post by accident whilst browsing through what’s been going on over here! 🙂 I wasn’t clicking through every thread, but I did click on this. How funny.

I wish I was some sort of master Buddhist who was also super efficient, but truth be told, my days are not that different from what you described. It bothers me a lot. The good thing is that it is not as bad as it used to be, and that is because I’m living more and more in this world and not just in my head. My coping mechanism as a child was to escape in my dreams and fantasies, and I have always been more of a thinker than a doer. So, it’s no surprise that I am able to fool myself easily and create an alternative reality; thinking about doing something all of a sudden becomes a thing that I’ve already done, even when I actually haven’t.

The only way I can think of getting out of that and more into actually doing things is to just be more humble and appreciate the reality, knowing that things only get done after you have done them. Sometimes things feel overwhelming, and that’s when it’s good to just take a moment and relax and try to focus on just one small thing at a time. What I do not recommend is attempting huge changes into your habits. That is unrealistic and will likely lead to even more feelings of loss of control, when you’re not able to to do (and you won’t be able to do it).

I also see my struggles as those between an unruly child and a grown-up who’s trying to get the child to do things. Force does not work, it makes things worse, but being brutally honest in a kind way helps. I must accept that if I want something, yet don’t do anything about it, then I’m not going to get what I want. I know it must sound weird how I’m having to explain to myself these very basic realities of life, but I am doing a lot of self-parenting these days. I am only now learning how to take care of myself and a lot of other things I should’ve learned when I was a child or a teenager or even a young adult.

Anyway, I think it goes back to the same basic things: being mindful, being compassionate and embracing reality.