yoda428,

This question is very important: In your soul, in your truest heart of hearts, in the moments when you can’t lie even to yourself ~ is it over, or is she just saying that?

If it’s over, ignore her. Leave her alone. Every time you make proclamations you become more repellant in that you’re making it worse!

If even 1% of her wants you back, and even if she doesn’t, FOR YOUR OWN MENTAL SANITY: Ignore her this year. The kids are old enough to handle their own events, coordinating, etc. If the texts aren’t urgent, no need to reply. You run into her? Wave and quickly vanish.

No less than one year later, WHEN YOU HAVE STOPPED OBSESSING, text back. Never initiate texts. You run into her, “Hi how are you? Gotta go!” Polite. That’s it.

Two years later, FOR YOUR OWN MENTAL SANITY, phone communication, but only if she calls first. You run into her? “Hi (name)!” Warm hug. “How are you? That’s great! Gotta go!”

As the years (yes, years) go on she will also see that you are better, healthier, etc. And she might miss that old attention. She just might, if this was a romantic series. But only if you move on this decade in Real Life.

If you’re lucky, you will be the best of friends again when the kids are adults. Perhaps even (ghost of a chance) get back together.

But please, leave her alone enough for her to miss you. For your own mental sanity, you don’t have to say “The End” but you do have to at least be able to say “The End ~ for now! *wink!* … to be continued Summer of 2020!”

• This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by Inky.
• This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by Inky.