I have some experience, strength and hope to share…

1. My sister recently had similar relationship with a disastrous outcome (physical/emotional/verbal abuse, stolen money $35k+, etc). Most alcoholics can change/hide/quit for a spell, but nothing like a year or more. Hers certainly couldn’t.

2. I’m in recovery (alcoholic) and when it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and drinks like a fish it’s probably an alcoholic… His behavior is that of someone in the grips of addiction and without a solution to his spiritual problem (and spiritual problems need spiritual solutions btw, not more “will power” or whatever) he will go down and take you with him. He will, that’s what we do. Not fair, not right, but if you become a willing participant in this life you are inviting that into your life.

3. Being true to yourself is the MOST IMPORTANT reaction to ANY situation in life I have come to believe. It’s not selfish, it’s not self-centered, it’s the way we were designed to be. If the sex is not part of an intimate expression of your love (which CAN include all the dirty talk you both want) than it’s not a means to an end but rather just a way to get off.

Good luck, God speed, and try to listen to your gut and be true to yourself.