If you weren’t at the helm, it could have been much worse. Plus, consider that your guilt assumes that their lives aren’t better off now, this “letdown” isn’t part of the harmony of their development that leads them along their path of joy. False, mu, your ego. You played your part.

Consider that sometimes that what you’re calling cowardice is actually exactly the right emotion to have.

Said differently, its your ego that makes the choices “all about you” and “all about what I did”. Bwah, garbage. As though you could “break the harmony” or “go off track”. You’re a thread, dear traveller, nothing more, nothing less. What are you learning? Not “what john is” “what john does”, rather, cause and effect. What’s pushing and pulling you?

Consider a mantra of forgiveness to disentangle from the guilt directly. “I accept myself, and choose to make room inside me for what has happened. I accept that anyone coming from the same conditions would have done similarly. I forgive myself, forgive them, and hope that whatever vibrations radiate from my choices lead to long term health for us all. May we be free and settled, with lessons learned.”

With warmth,
Matt