Hi Kelly, firstly I can see it looks bad that I want his to son to move out and I questioned the thought for a long time. So I need to clarify a few points that made me come to my decision. He is not a “boy” at 17. He drinks and smokes and has a steady girlfriend he sleeps with. ( she has stayed over several times) He “can” stay with his mother, just because they argue all the time is not my problem.
If he didn’t waste money on smokes and alcohol he would have enough money from his casual work to share rent with his mates which he would like to do. My partner was putting his son before our relationship because he wouldn’t get his son to follow the boundaries I set that led me to a breakdown.( when he new it would be a difficult adaption for me to have his son stay)
I have had the big talk with my partner yesterday and told him all of this. He finally could see how all of this was effecting us and we are taking steps to fix things.
I too was a child of divorce and abuse from my father. I couldn’t wait to live on my own, and so I was at 17 with a live in job. I didn’t rely on my parents for anything. Never have and never will. Each to their own I guess. But it is time for me to be happy so that is what I aim to do 🙂