You are not lost! You are in the midst of finding yourself, because you can only find yourself if you realize and admit that you are lost. At the age of 17 I had no where near as much happen to me as you have been through. I will say though I sense in you a budding artist. Some people don’t get the same positive feelings when they spill their hearts out to others, I know I don’t. I feel better when I focus the pain and allow it to flow out of me in some creative format like writing stories, music, poems, art, but even if you do this you mustn’t allow your feelings to build up inside of you. Having good friends is almost a necessity in life, but some people have a hard time being friends with someone if they never open up emotionally. A therapist is good because they listen and use techniques that allow you to move passed your past. I myself am introverted and it is hard to open up, especially when people so often are two faced. Studying is important, but you’ll study more when you find something you are passionate about, for me that is spirituality, philosophy, and psychology I could study these subjects all day every day if I had the time. My suggestion is to find a place, somewhere quiet, outside preferably in nature where you can go. Find a nice place to sit where other people won’t bother you and write, let your hand write what ever it does, don’t think about what you are writing and when you re done you may have a little more insight about yourself. If you are stumped just take it all in, then try again. It is perfectly normal to react the way you have in your situation, now you must grow from it. To sum it up, you aren’t a weak person, from what I read you are an emotional, introvert and express yourself artistically, follow that and see where it takes you and once you come to terms with what ever it is you learn about yourself then maybe you will again find the importance of and have tolerance for studying.