Hi Sandy,

I hope to add to the fantastic advice from Ruminant and Crystal.

It seems to me that your two options are kind of like this: 1) Put in the work/effort and everything will line up, go smoothly, take you where you ‘need to be’, or 2) If things are not going smooth, then it’s time to scramble and fight to get things back on track. Is that accurate?

If it is, then I know the feeling. I used to see things that way as well. But I’ve learned a few things along the way:

1) Things are rarely as bad as the seem
Ok, so things are not going as you’d suspect. Take a moment, and a few slow breaths, steady yourself. As Ruminant said, life rarely goes according to plan. Remind yourself of this. It can feel awkward being off track, like the world is against you, if you’re not going forward with a plan. I used to feel this way, but it’s not like that. Yes, there are dog-eat-dog people out there, but there are plenty of helpful people and situations ready for you. You don’t have to be driving forward all the time. You might just burn out. It’s ok to drift.

2) The smallest adjustment can make a huge difference
Just like the surfer who can make the slightest shift to regain balance, you too might be able to do the same. Open yourself to possibilities. For example, are there courses online you can take? Take your time and look for the little things. Who knows what good things just one of those might lead to?

3) It really is about the journey, rather than the destination
See the situation as options opening up before you. How about that? YOU get to decide the next step. When you approach it like this, it can be empowering, even fun. Where will it lead to? You might have some idea, but you’ll never know for sure. To me, this sounds like an interesting adventure where you get to choose what you want, think on your feet. Take the experience in as you go. Allow yourself to cheer for the unexpected fortunes, pout at the unexpected failures, and all other experiences. We all go through this, and some are learning to enjoy it as it happens. You can too.

Hope I’ve made sense and at least some of it applies to you! 🙂