Hello 🙂

I know this feeling of being so hung up and pinned to the wall with my want.

One day – years later (maybe 3), and after much self inflicted suffering, I read or heard that little catch phrase, ‘When you truly love something, you will let it go’. Or something along that line.

I guess it hit me hard – that I couldn’t love something truly, if I wanted it to be with me – even if ‘me’ wasn’t what made ‘it’ (him) happy. Boo 🙁 That sucked.

So why did I need this person who I really really loved to love me? The threads this person touched in me filled some many many holes in me… sewed me up in the just the way I needed to be patched up. I was not whole or complete to begin with… I needed someone to prove to me I was loveable. I needed a distraction from myself, that perfect distraction that took my eyes away from the gaping hole in my heart… that heart that thought it wasn’t loveable.

Turns out – now some more years later, after lots of ‘work’ toward inner healing – I find that as I learn to love and accept myself unconditionally… the need for others to love me isn’t necessary. While I do so enjoy it – there isn’t that NEED or void to fill. So my obsessing becomes less – I am able to love others in a way that feels like freedom – as in ‘with or without me is fine, I just want you to be happy because I love you’.

I wish this for you dear one xxxx