Hi Ashley,

It sounds like you’re trying to create friendships, rather than allowing them to happen. There is the saying ‘making friends’, but this is misleading, imo. We can make a move to introduce ourselves to one another, but a friendship should not be presumed. Start by simply being respectful of someone for the person they are. Show yourself this respect too. If you find yourself in company with someone who shares similar interests as you, do not presume a friendship. Maybe something else about them turns you off, and be honest about those things to yourself. Maybe you two just don’t click, despite the similar interests, so let it be. It’s easy to want to overlook red flags just to be close with others. Ask yourself what kind of experience you really want. This may be the meaning you’re looking for. For me, my strongest relationships have been ones where I feel like the other person is compassionate, a good listener, offer their best advice, and then *naturally* I feel like reciprocating it back to them. Friendships should also be about complete freedom to come and go as one pleases. There should be no set schedule for staying in contact, and hanging out. And naturally laughing and joking around together is a must. It shouldn’t all be about serious stuff. Again, treat everyone with respect for them as an individual, including yourself. Keep conversation light and fun. Don’t lead the friendship anywhere, just let it unfold on it’s own. Let it be as shallow or as deep as it allows.

Hope this helps!