You sound like a sensitive person, like me. I had a similar situation when I was 22 (huge fight with egotistical friend, I moved away and worried incessantly about the lies she was spreading about me to friends in my old town). I finally just came to the conclusion that it really didn’t matter what others think about me. The truth is, you could be as close to perfect as possible and someone will still disapprove. You literally cannot base your self worth on someone else’s opinion. What makes them so holier than thou that they can dictate how you feel about yourself??

Losing a friend is hard, but I will tell you that anyone who acts that way is lashing out for a reason. Jealousy, emptiness, who knows what she is feeling inside, but it’s definitely not a reflection of you in any way. It’s a reflection of her lacking something in her life. People don’t behave that way because of something YOU did to them, they behave that way because they choose to.

Congratulations on getting into school! What a huge accomplishment. College changes a lot of things about you. I know when I went to college I was fairly certain of who I was, and four years later I was a completely different person (with completely different friends, by the way) and it was OKAY! It’s normal to be a little scared of the unknown, and change usually does make people a little uneasy. But instead of fighting that fear and obsessing over it, I suggest you realize that it’s an adventure, and worrying about it and being afraid of the possibilities is just going to ruin your entire experience. You have to seek an open mind and open heart, especially when trying something new.

I know a lot of people on this site will have better advice for you, but I just wanted to post to let you know that things are okay, you are okay, and you are loved just as you are. You don’t have to be a certain way for anyone else. Just be yourself. And if you aren’t sure who that person is, just start exploring! I’m 26 and still clueless. It’s okay! We don’t have to have everything figured out.