Dear @Zita,

I am sorry you are going through this hard time. It seems to me like you can’t shift your focus onto yourself because your mind is still stuck on your past. You mentioned there are things you “should” tell him but that you don’t like writing and talking about it over and over again.

I would suggest you take two pieces of paper. On the first one, write everything that is on your mind regarding your previous relationship and ex boyfriend. Write the things you wish you could tell him, how he has wronged you, how he made you feel. Write all the things you hated about this relationship. Write as much as you can.
When you are done, take the second piece of paper and write all the things you appreciate about yourself. Write about the things and people (friends, family) that make you happy. Write about your dreams, your goals. Write same positive quotes or your favorite lyrics.

And then look at these two lists. Re-read them carefully and be aware of every single word you wrote. And when you are done, throw the first piece of paper away.

Hopefully this will help you realize that you have the power to control your thoughts and your mind. You nourish your brain, you get to decide what goes through your mind. Whenever you feel the bad emotions coming back, read the list you wrote for yourself.

Shifting your mind onto yourself will take time, but my hope is that you will remember to take care of yourself first and foremost. Although I don’t know anything about your past, I know that you deserve the best -because we all do.

Emmanuelle