Hi there tiny butterfly. As I read your story I couldn’t help but envision myself in the same way. I have been (and still am) in a relationship that has changed my core. I never used to cry for everything. Now I have become so broken and sensitive that I cry for every emotion that I feel. Sometimes that can be a very bad thing (for me). I feel that I no longer have control of those emotions, and that this strong woman that I once was is no longer here. I cry when im angry, sad, confused, etc. I have gone through A LOT with my guy of 6 years. And I mean A LOT. I too have come to the desperate point of getting so angry and things he did at one point and enraged that I hit him. I never ever thought that I could be even capable of doing that to anyone. But I did. And I feel terrible with myself for letting his actions get me so worked up and out of control that it drove me to that point. That’s not the person I wanted to be. We broke up for about 9 months, separated, moved away from each other (we lived together), and we got back together (and moved back in together) in March. Things have been…hard. But I have made the choice to work on things and so has he. We have a child together, so it makes things different. I have also made the choice to work on myself. That is what I suggest to you. You need to go searching for the new you. You will never get that old you back. That person has had trauma happen in her life. I say trauma because what you have gone through has changed YOU. But you can build yourself back up. I say write down the things you treasured the most about yourself and try you hardest to tap into those things again. Maybe at this point in life you will have learned a lot about yourself from these relationships. For example, who you do NOT want to be. Also writing is so therapeutic. You can lose yourself in writing close the entire world out and just literally take your thoughts and put them on paper. It’s like talking, but to your notebook. When I find I am going through a moment, or I feel a bad thing coming on, I go to my notebook and take a deep breath. Writing what I am feeling at that exact moment is like having someone listening to me (when I don’t have anyone to talk to). Try it and let us know how it goes 🙂