Two questions, deep ones:

1. What profound thing/condition went on to make you have the original feeling of Shame?

2. What event triggered it?

I ask because you are still young (college age). People move/leave all the time. Everyone (sorry!) is at least a little self-absorbed in their teens/early twenties. Because you are scared of disappointing means that you are not as selfish as you think! But what is the root of not wanting to disappoint?? And why in the world should you know what to do with your life already? And being too dependent = fear. What were you afraid of? And not trying? I can’t believe that ~ and if for one minute you didn’t try, why would you not want to give yourself a break from all this? And it takes two to truly ruin relationships. So I am questioning all your thoughts, and I don’t even know you!! Please flip any thoughts around that are negative.

I’ve had this feeling before over a specific situation ~ so much so that it was obvious it wasn’t about the specific situation at all!