SpinBunny,

Follow your own way, your own intuition. If you truly love this man(don’t allow people to minimize and say you are simply infatuated), then do not allow fearful feelings of guilt or shame to hold you back from that. Do not allow insecure thoughts confuse you about his perceptions of you(“does he really care or is he just doing his job?”. If you believe that he reciprocates your feelings deep within yourself, then you’re probably right. What you can’t do though, is assume that because he feels the same way that he also wants the same thing from you as you do him. You’ll have to communicate with him for those answers. I’d also like to say that you are in no way obligated to protect a relationship he has with another woman that he decided to be in prior to even meeting you! That role belongs to him. If his relationship is worth protecting *to him*, he will. Otherwise not. You have no idea what the reality of his relationship is. We women are horrible about this. Do not take responsibility for his relationship. We are free to love who we wish and we are not forced to continue relationships if we believe ourselves better matched with someone else. Be authentic, communicate honestly, take risk, reap the rewards, accept the consequences.