Go find a new guru. Or go online, type in your current guru’s name and read the list of grievances others have had with him. Gurus are people too. At the end of the day, that’s all they are. People who pass themselves off as Enlightened. But let me ask you this: If he is so Enlightened, why are you asking strangers on the internet if you should stay or go? I’m not Enlightened. (Rumi might be though ;)!) But what we say is true. And 100 other people will tell you the same thing.

Stay with your parents. Don’t ask forgiveness. You’ve done nothing wrong.

P.S. He’s not thinking about you nearly as much as you are. He will think, “Oh, she stayed with her family. We lost another one. Next!”