But in my initial messages i did mention that sometimes i am happy, say lot of jokes,over talkative.. at sometimes i am sad, moody, depressed…. i always think i have mood swings… or else i am depressed from within

after coming from home, i was trying to meditate, closing my room..i knew that my mother would push the door and come in and i would get distracted….everything happened as i thought..i shouted at her with anger….and then getting depressed and sense of feeling guilty….why i always do so..when i could have avoided the situation by telling her not to disturb me…i dont know i get some kind of gratification and satisfaction by getting emotional-angry – depressed- hurting myself & others..why?

why i want people to think bad of me..

The guy with whom i had argument and to whom i said sorry…came to my desk at a later time..he wanted to talk to me, but i feel shy or maintaining eye contact..i kept myself engaged looking here and there and looking into files..i have this problem from childhood.. i used to look down and walk