Hiya Bernie,

From what i’ve read, it sounds as though there’s some work you need to be doing on yourself first and foremost – not to say there is anything ‘wrong’ with you and you are not broken or need to be ‘fixed’, I don’t believe that for one second. There’s just stuff going on in your world that needs to be dealt with.

There could be many reasons why women do this. One thing it comes down to is getting to know yourself. What are your values in each area of your life, for example. And then being willing to take the necessary steps to start honouring what is discovered. A lot of looking within is required and being honest with oneself instead of trying to pretend or cover up.

It could be that they have an unconscious belief running that tells them they’re not worthy and don’t deserve love – based on an experience from the past – so as much as they want better for themselves, they still hold on to what’s not working for them.

There’s also the loss of self belief and self confidence that increases over time which clearly is not going to help.

A woman has to choose to be strong for herself, with whatever support she can find, so that she can release herself from the past, start doing what she needs to do to take care of herself and move forward in a much more happy and empowered way.

Denise