Thanks Inky and Matt…Inky I’m not all that young…29! 😉

Matt you are spot on with the putting down roots and being here for myself not just the relationship…I suppose I am not even sure of what i want and that’s the problem, it was the problem before too. Because of me being a Christian and him not, I used to feel such guilt about us being together and we broke up numerous times because of the faith issue because I felt so darn guilty. This time around for the first time in my life I just said ‘screw it!’ I’m just going to go and be with him…but it does feel strange.
I just don’t know if I should admit that the relationship just isn’t right because otherwise I wouldn’t be having these doubts?..I get extremely anxious and feel so guilty for having doubts feeling like I’m lying or something. I do wonder whether being on my own is best, doing what I want and not having these doubts and uncertainties. A couple of months ago when I kind of had an epiphany moment of wanting to totally change my belief system I read “The power of now” by Tolle and it all made sense, I felt I was awake and able to do the things he suggested, I felt so happy and alive. Since getting back with my boyfriend and coming back to be with him it’s like my mind is running the show 24/7 but I just can’t put my finger on the exact issue to know if it’s the relationship or all the changes and yes, moving into his tiny place where there’s no room for my stuff etc so I don’t feel settled.

Thanks guys x