You are definitely not alone. I am in this same situation currently. For me it’s come down to, am I attached to the feelings I get from him/ how he makes me feel when things are going good between us? It sometimes feels like that’s what I’m chasing. Anytime we have a misunderstanding he is too quick to run away. I end up being the one to smooth things over.
The solution I came up with, for the time being, is a two-week period of time where we don’t talk. Time to walk separate paths and then see what happens when we reconnect. Maybe you can do this? I think of it as stepping back to look at the big picture.