For me, and I am almost on the other side of a shocking break up myself, we look and seek for understanding, it is such a relief the day you realize you stopped asking why? What a lift off your shoulders and it happens it really does. The loneliness one feels when they are rejected, is the sum of all of the rejections and sadness one has in their lives. But we have to go through it. But not alone. I applaud you for reaching out to people for encouragement. You are not alone. You are not the reason he is the way he is. For me, I am beginning to realize the things I can do now, without him. My life is funner, I dance better,I hike and I paint and I sing better, my work is better and I am feeling better all around. But it is a slow process and anyone who wants to share time with me, is going to have to be worth my time. I know you are going to reach a place where this is all behind you and you will stop asking all the why questions. Actually what I came to believe was his breaking up with me (email!) was like being stood up by a charity date.Peace and love. Take this with you.