Hi Zooey!

This is not a silly or juvenile topic at all! And I can totally relate. It really sucks when your brain knows that you have to move on from something that is no longer working, but your heart isn’t getting the message.

I have found myself in similar situations, where I feel like I have to let a person go, but just can’t stop thinking about them. And for a long time, too! The relationship you had with this guy, though it surprised you, made you feel really special and that’s fantastic! What you need to remember now that it has fizzled is that you are still special!

As for getting him out of your mind, it will happen naturally, eventually. But in the meantime, be kind to yourself. When I have felt really stuck I sometimes give myself something to focus on throughout the day when I feel that negative gut-wrenching “ohmygodwhatdididowrongwhydoesn’thewantme” feeling. Something as simple as “I feel afraid but now I will choose love instead.” This ‘mantra’ helps me nip the negativity in the bud, before it really takes hold. After a while I realize that ‘some guy’ is not the one running my mind, and I can choose to stop my negative patterns of thinking if I am paying attention to them.

This is just something that helps me find some emotional stability when I’m in a pickle. I still feel sadness and regret and romantic nostalgia, but it is a way that I can stop it from taking over my day, week, month….

I’m not at all looking to plug somebody’s book, but I was first introduced to the idea of using mantras from Gabrielle Bernstein’s book May Cause Miracles.

Zooey, you will feel better! Don’t be hard on yourself, you’re not acting juvenile. I’m sending lots of love to you!

Love,
Hope