Danielle,

I’m sorry for your rut, and can understand how difficult it can be to remain rooted in a happy place when the world honks its horns and lists its demands. Buddha taught that its the fixation on the experiences themselves that bring the painful quality, such as pushing away the “painful” and trying to find the “pleasant”, “Danielle going to war to have this and not that.” As we learn to laugh at the ups and downs, the moon following the sun following the moon following the sun, we naturally move toward skillfulness, toward peace. Said differently, as we learn not to go to war, not to grasp and repel, we grow an authentic, resilient inner smile.

The story that comes to mind is of a beautiful little bird, delicate wings, colorful feathers, flying and doing its little birdie things. Maybe nibbling some grain, making a nest, and so forth. Beautiful, a wonderful little piece of nature. From a patient, appreciative space, its seen as a thread in a magnificent tapestry of life, the universe.

Now, say that pretty little bird lands on the hood of our car. Oh, what a blessing! How beautiful it is to visit us! Then, it poops on our car. “What the heck? You ugly little monster! Fly away, shoo vermin! Why do birds keep doing that? Is there a sign somewhere that says ‘dump on Danielle?!?'” Inside, the space collapsed… smile to a frown.

As we sit, rest with our experience of “me-bird-car-poop”, it comes as a natural idea “how do I stop birds from pooping on my car?” We can try, spend hours and hours researching, building a garage, protecting the car. Or, we can let it go. Accept that birds are beautiful, and they sometimes poop on the car, its nothing personal, part of their little birdie journey. “Clean hood” not as important as “clean Danielle”. Having a clean mind let’s us have a clean hood or a pooped on hood with the same smile. The bird, free and loved, doing its little birdie things, forgiven. Then, we can smile while we clean off the car, and don’t lose the smile from seeing the beautiful little birdie. Doesn’t collapse into “bird” and “my car” in conflict, no “vermin” feeling arising.

Said differently, more directly, the discomfort arises from the fixation on the negative, the way the mind clings to “what is here I dislike”, rather than smiling, accepting, cleaning it up, finding inner peace again. These roadblocks the universe keeps sending you, empty, fertile, perhaps helping you detach the outside from the inside. Learning to smile genuinely during rain makes smiling during sunshine all that much sweeter. Much like you’ve said, building strength… but rather than strength to overcome external roadblocks, such as protecting the car, consider that perhaps you’re growing the strength to be content, happy, come rain or shine. Then, the endless needs, worries, responsibilities, twists and turns… don’t pull us in, grab us, force us to abandon our smile. Why let them?

Namaste, sister, may raindrops and sunlight find Danielle smiling, blossoming.

With warmth,
Matt