Holy crap. Sorry I’m starting with that statement, but that is an intense story. I’m sorry to hear that you are going through something like this. I have never experienced anything to this extent, but I know how it feels being in a false world with someone you’ve been with for a long time. It must be extremely devastating to find things out the way you did. It sounds like she is taking things way too far by what she’s telling these guys. I don’t approve of talking to other men/women in a sexual manner if you’re in a committed relationship what-so-ever. If someone is going on a whole different level to say that you are doing things that you aren’t doing, that’s even worse. What she’s saying could get you in a lot of trouble if she tells the wrong person. What if one of these guys decides he should inform law enforcement if she’s taking it to that big of extremes? That’s extremely unfair to you and your family. It’s clear that your wife is in need of some serious mental realignment or counseling. Telling such elaborate lies is a problem on top of being verbally unfaithful. You absolutely cannot have her doing that. If you are not being abusive, you need to at least get her to stop that because it could get you in SO much trouble. Fifteen years is a long time to be with someone. I understand that relationships may get stagnant at points, but being married is about being there for better or for worse. If there are issues, they must be discussed. If there is boredom, it’s time to change up the routine. If you are not comfortable with bringing in a third party into your relationship, you do not have to. You are a person too, and you have feelings. I’m not trying to be mean, but she’s being extremely selfish while you are in so much pain. I would have a serious talk with her. I know you said you have spoken with her about this already, but I would speak about it again. Tell her you are not comfortable with this idea. Ask her if there’s anything that can be done to get her to stop what she’s doing. It’s painful, but you may have reassess where your marriage is and if it’s worth going through all this deception if she doesn’t plan to stop. She has the love from you and your children, why does she need it from another man as well? Gosh. I wish I could shake her. She’s a grown woman. Self will run riot!
Please remember to breathe, every single day. This is very hard to deal with, but there are so many others who have felt the way you have. You are never alone. If all else fails, do think of your children. Know that you are an amazing person and this is not your fault. Sometimes people suffer from excess greed and you may have nothing to do with it. Do not do anything you don’t want to to, but don’t keep letting her persist with these actions as long as you both are still together. Try to meditate. It may be hard, but focus on your breathing. Try to find one good thing out of your day, even if it’s the fact that you are breathing. Follow YOUR heart.