Kadija,

The simple answer (which you’ve been asking yourself and others for months) is no. You didnt break this relationship. He didn’t give you his roots, he never moved out of mommies house, still a little baby boy. Let him go, you’re better than him, and he knows it, and blames you for bringing him down because he can’t take responsibility for his own bullshit. Move on! Move your mind away from him as boyfriend. He’s your ex.

These “texts” and mysteries he throws at you are just hooks… keeping you looking at him instead of improving your own life, like a leech might try to stick onto us to suck out blood. Don’t let him! Get him out of there! What makes you happy? Do that instead, think about those things instead. Shake that bastard off!

All this is assuming he hasn’t grown up much in the last few months since you wrote a little more in depth about the circumstances. Wasn’t he your ex back then, too? How many times do you have to get sucked dry before you punt his ass away from you? Because he cooks and massages you? But you feel like crud most of the time, and he doesn’t show up as a man? Why don’t you think you deserve better than that? You do!

Your heart seems to be screaming, yelling that you deserve better. That’s not because your heart is unreasonable, demanding, selfish… its right. Its yelling because you’re not listening, still trusting his “you’re the problem” instead. But that’s his song, his little boy being a turd… but why do you believe him? Why do you trust him more than your own knowing? You see him not showing up, but when you say something he says “I know you are, but what am I?” like a five year old, and you buy it. Silly. Sick of being stuck yet? If so, grow!

With warmth,
Matt