Denise,

In addition to Inky’s thoughtful and heartfelt advice, consider also stop trying to change your parents. That just never works, especially at 19, after being their baby for many years (and forever :)). Instead, try to accept them as is. Sure, mom struggles, and you can see how needless it is. Even so, its not yours, you can’t help by instruction. You can help by hugging, Inky’s list of kind actions, focusing on growing your own life. You’re sweet, wanting to reach out, but she’s your mom. She wipes your butt, not the other way around. From you, daughter to mother, hugs and appreciation is all she needs. Unless she asks you, but that’s a whole different thread. 🙂

With warmth,
Matt