You don’t have to have kids to carry the past into the present moment 🙂 Anyone who is around the age suitable for Steve is going to have a past. Steve has a past. Things happen in life and people find themselves in new circumstances and they have to adapt. No need to be judgemental about it.

I do agree though that one should feel comfortable with themselves before starting dating.

The problem with online dating is that it creates the illusion of a marketplace, where you have a lot of options, but you know that you get to choose only one. So people behave the same way as when shopping for a large investment, like a car or a house. Some people hate shopping so much, that they would rather just quickly have their most basic needs met and be done with it. Some like to browse a bit more before making any commitment. It doesn’t mean being a player. That’s just how it ends up being in the world of online dating. Sure, there are also those who get so hooked on the dating process itself that they aren’t interested in settling for anyone.

As for this one person who is interested in meeting, but is being aloof. Aloof isn’t always a bad sign. Intensity is a worse sign than being aloof, to be honest. Being able to handle temper is important, in my opinion. She said that she has plans for next week, but is interested in meeting you. If you haven’t asked her any direct question that she should answer to, then what is the problem with the pace? She might be in contact with you after she comes back from the lake. Being really invested in one person even before meeting them is the sort of intensity that can be a bad sign. You haven’t established a true connection yet, so she isn’t invested enough in you. Doesn’t mean that she is a player. It can mean that she has a bit of common sense. Of course it could be that she is bonkers, but I wouldn’t say that based on what you’ve written.

You need to handle your own temper and cool down a bit. Don’t be too eager to settle for the first one that seems OK enough. That gives out an air of desperation, and that’s not good. Relax, and try to see the people as someone interesting that you might get to know along the way, and not as someone who could potentially offer you something that you need. That kind of attitude also takes away the shopping element, and you might be able to see and accept people as they are!