Hello The Switch,

Firstly thank you so much for your reply and kind, supportive words. So much of what you wrote reasonates with me. I always lived in fear of losing my mother & now i’m living in a nightmare. I’m a huge worrywort too. I envy those who are free spirited, carefree.

Prior to my mom’s passing I’ve never experienced death at such close quarters. Sure I lost my grandparents, an aunt & uncle but in my culture children even teenagers are shielded by family members from the death of the elders.

My mom suffered tremendously during the last 2 years of her life . I literally saw the life go out of her. Needless to say its highly traumatic.the visuals of her pain , suffering & death are imprinted in my soul. Initial months post her demise i was numb , thereafter grief & depression have hit me like a ton of bricks. I question everything. Everything seems worthless. Ive joined online grief forums, seeing a counsellor but in vain . I feel like ive lost myself . I miss my mother every second of everyday . Its heartbreaking. Add to that insomnia, phobias , anxiety, physical illness. I’m at my wits end here. Sorry for going on & on but your words gave me comfort. Thank you . God bless.