Hi Gen,

Thanks so much for your reply. You nailed it : perimenopause is a rollercoaster. Mine is feom hell :-(.

Thank you for the forum suggestions . I feel lost , like everything seems meaningless. Yesterday I saw a photo of my beloved mum (in it she was healthy ) . I wept the whole night away. A year has passed & I seem to still be in a state of shock & disbelief. Its so tough. Nobody cares. Nobody gets it. People make inane suggestions & expect me to * move on* ( what does that even mean ?) .

The illnesses i have plus the grief makes me so depressed . I dont wanna get out of bed most mornings.

Hello everyone . New here . How does one start a new topic? I need help badly. I’m sorry to hijack this thread but i’ve nowhere else to turn . I’ve suffered anxiety since I was little. Anxious, stressed, nervous :thats me. Living like this has taken a toll . I’m 40 now& facing the worst period of my life. I lost my dear beloved mom a year ago. She was everything to me. She was very sick for 15 years & I was her caregiver. We were always together 24/7. As long as she was alive there was hope. Life was tough due to the various illnesses she had but my primary mission in life was her well being & happiness. Post her demise the world has ended for me. I’m terribly panicky, scared, nervous, depressed. Have insomnia & was put on anti anxiety medication to help me sleep. I resisted but eventually gave in as I went months without sleeping a week. Past one year since mom has gone i’ve hit rock bottom. Every minute is spent in anxiety & fear. Scared to go out, scared to be alone , scared to do anything . No motivation or interest in anything . I am seeing a counsellor but getting nowhere. My family is concerned & frustrated with me. What does’nt help is that I suffer from a few ailments that feed the anxiety plus the anxiety excaberates the ailments. I dont know what to do to heal myself. I feel exhausted, sad, lonely & anxious. I suspect i have OCD about disease & dying. Watching my belived mom suffer & die has broken my heart & killed my spirit. What makes matters worse is that I suspect i ‘m going through perimenopause but my doctors are dismissive. I just dont know what to do . Im stuck in a persistent fight or flight mode. Somebody help please. I’m fed up. Thank you .