John and Fuzzy, I appreciate your comments and understand your feelings to a degree. It appears you have both been hurt deeply by women in your life and I cannot know fully your pain. It looks and sounds to you, I’m sure, as a shame-worthy offense. I have to do life on my own terms and there is still much to learn. I assure you in my lifetime with my husband I have been the caregiver and romancer to his soul and found pleasure in doing so. I do this because I love him, not because I have expectations that he will reciprocate. I believe you will get back what ever you put out there, not necessarily from the source that you send that love. I am well supported by people in my life and know I have love being sent my way every day. Living in the moment only feels good to me if I am assured I am not bringing great pain to someone I love, including myself. That said, I certainly recognized the potential consequences and have had no contact with my soul-mate (I still believe he is) for a year. I am not spending time on this person. My reason for posting here to begin with was to inquire whether there were others who have experienced a similar situation. I wasn’t looking for condemnation and judgement, which is what I feel from you both.