You sound a lot like my ex. Infact ya’ll have the same name.

She sounds similar to me, minus the fact his parents adored me.

If you love her, honestly, let her go. Because the both of you need to keep growing and continuing this on and off cycle on the pretense of love isn’t unhealthy. Love is knowing when enough is enough.

“I have tried dating other people, and everything comes off completely flat to me. Sure, the new dates may never hurt me, but I don’t feel a connection anywhere near the one I broke off. The highs may never be as high.”

That last part sounds like you have an addiction. That’s how you know this isn’t healthy. When you’re only chasing highs.
You obviously have not had enough time alone and apart growing to appreciate the beauty and potential in other people. This happens and is the most difficult transition after being in a rollercoaster relationship. Of course, not everyone is compatible, but you certainly sound like you’re not ready to date if you’re still comparing these people to the “high” you felt before.

That high was not love or passion. It was uncertainty, and insecurity. And a mix of a lot of drama.

“Now that some time has passed since the end, I find myself ruminating on the good times we had”

And forgetting all the bad and unhealthiness of it. Nostalgia and rose colored glasses, that’s how we romanticize the past.

Do her and yourself a favor, properly move on. And then much later if you cross paths or decide to reach out and it happens organically, there you go. But more likely you will meet somebody much more right for you, somebody you can’t possibly imagine now, and you’ll wonder why you kept chasing that drug before.

And she will properly get the help she needs instead of still going back to get her fix from you.

“Despite the problems, it was real love”

I don’t think you understand what real love is yet. I think you need even more time to yourself if you think it looked like the relationship you two had. Consider the impact it’s had on her too, not just yourself in that.

“I’m afraid I acted carelessly and selfishly when I denied her another chance at real love. I’m afraid I’m being a coward by not sticking with her, and respecting her more now that she’s seeking therapy.”

Maybe you did/were. My ex sure as hell was. But don’t you see those are all deep seated fears about how you come across? You’re saying you denied HER another chance at real love, but what about you?

” A big part of me is considering contacting her and telling her I was wrong to end things and see if she can forgive me. Another part of me is saying that even though I may never feel a connection that strong with anyone else”

My ex did 6 months afterwards and even then i was too disgusted to even speak to him after what he did. If you do, it better be long and sincere. What’s forgiveness? You can find that in yourself. Do you have a purpose, what are you giving to her? You better tell her. She won’t care to say “I forgive you” so you better specify in your apology. Don’t make it about you.

The second part, is all fear based. You will feel a strong connection with other people, just different.
There’s way too many people on this earth for that to not be possible.

I don’t know your ages or your timeline with all this, but you still haven’t left the relationship. If 2 years have gone by and you have had no contact with her and have gotten your proverbial sh*t together and spent time focusing on you and not intimate relationships and think you’re healthy enough to try again…go ahead and try contacting her again. But make it worth it, for her and yourself. Besides, if it doesn’t go well you won’t be as hurt by then. Also if she’s still bad for you you’ll have grown enough to not be attracted to emotionally unhealthy people.

You’ll find somebody eventually. Maybe her, maybe not. I thought things with my ex would work out, true love and all that. 10 months after he dumped me for the 4th time I was married. Not to him though.