One of the major issues Im dealing with apart from not being with her is that she did stick with me for so long and through so much, I left her for long periods of time after each breakdown and she was devastated and heart broken, she lost her job through being unable to work due to the pain and then having to take a lower paid job when she finally felt well enough again.
When the Aspergers first came to light she got all the information she could find, trawling the internet,reading books,trying to find a way to make us work, but it was my fear of being labeled and what it meant about me as a person which made me avoid dealing with it, which also added to my anxieties and triggering another Aspie breakdown.

When I finally did start to do something about it all it was too late, she had soooo much love for me and now it has suddenly gone like a light being turned off, my sense of timing couldn’t be worse, and I feel responsible for the situation I’m in.