Yes thank you Matt, I can see now, it’s something that has been troubling me and holding me back for a while.
I have now applied that approach to my relationship and the difference I feel in stepping away from it this time is quite enlightening.
Of course it is still upsetting but because I could think clearly, I could see how i had changed my behaviour and didn’t like the way I was now acting towards my partner, that I was justifying it with the things that he was doing and asking me to forgive.
I just calmy said that I was stepping out of the relationship because it was not good for either of us. I accepted that he behaved the way he does, that it is his choice to behave that way but I don’t like the way I am behaving in this situation so I can’t stay in it. I’m not left with pain, hurt just sadness that it didn’t work out the way that we would have liked.
I have also learned from this – that in addition to treating others with the respect that I would like to be treated with which I tent to live by, I must remember to treat myself with the same respect.

Thank you
Jackie