@J

Thank you for your lovely reply, I really appreciate it.

I agree that taking some time to clear through the clutter in my head is necessary before returning to college. My ex and I agreed when we broke up that we’d meet 4 or 5 days later to return each others things we had left at one another’s. I’m nervous about meeting with him because I have so much love for him, I’m afraid I’ll crack and just want to get back together. I do think I need to be alone to become happy. Since we’ve broken up I have been shocked at how difficult I find doing daily tasks without him. When you mentioned that you too became dependent on your other half; it sent alarm bells off in my head! He said on a few occasions that I needed to learn to be happy within myself first and foremost.

Do you think that when we meet, would it be selfish to tell him to wait around until I’ve sorted things out? I don’t want to promise him if he waits a week or two then we’ll be back together and I’ll have sorted things out. Because I could sort things out and realize I need to be single. I’m so afraid if we got back together the same issues would arise (constant fights, lack of intimacy, lying to my parents). At the same time I don’t wanna lose him. I would be heartbroken if he wasn’t in my life, I’d just think of this summer and all our experiences with a shadow of resentment, if that makes sense! He has told me many times in the past that if we ever did split he could never be my friend, as with any of his exes. He said that the feelings he had during our relationship would just be too prominent and there’d still be attraction.

Can I ask something? The boy you were with recently (that you decided to just be friends with because he was moving away) was he the same guy from college?

How long did it take you to feel comfortable with your ex becoming your friend? It seems very difficult!

Again, thank you for all your help.

Emma