Hi Fred,
I had a conversation with someone this morning about anger. We were talking about why people get angry. Why do I get angry? First, let’s acknowledge that it is a human emotion to feel angry. Don’t deny yourself that! I think the real question (and I think you allude to this) is what we are actually angry about.

The other day I got angry with my cats. They knocked over something and it broke. I yelled at them and felt angry. After a short outburst, I asked myself, why did I let myself be angry about something so silly as something being knocked over? Is that what I’m really angry about? I began to realize that it didn’t have anything really to do with the cats. Cats are cats and they behave like cats. Sometimes they knock stuff over. What I was angry about, was my expectation as to how my cats should act. After all, they should know better, I told them to stay off the table before! We have to let go of control.

I suggest you start seeing your girlfriend this way (not as a cat) but accept her for who she is. I know I did this with my wife. After all, it’s not really about what she is doing, it’s your reaction to what she’s doing. Only when we accept things just as they are, can we then come from a place of love, rather than anger.

Best of luck my friend,
Shawn