LB,

At some point, perhaps you’ll get bored making comparisons. The old apartment had this and this, didn’t have this and this. A wise man has this and this, doesn’t have this and this. An egoic man has this and this, doesn’t have this and this. Just waves of thoughts, pointless, use up energy, don’t really do much else. You’re far too entertained by your thoughts, friend. 🙂

Consider rekindling your meditation practice. Meditation strengthens our serenity, so we can simply fix what we can fix and accept what we can’t. Said differently, the apartment isn’t the source of your happiness or suffering, its just a container for it. A place to ripen, learn discernment, “what to fix, what to accept”.

From a different direction, consider that you bitched about your last apartment, too. Surprise, the habit of bitching is still here, now painting your new walls. Eroding the bitching isn’t about trying to grab onto, stare at, the pretty parts of the walls only, or avoiding grabbing onto, staring at the cracks. Its realizing the walls don’t matter, don’t make us happy or bitchy. That all comes from our point of view. Which meditation helps open, detach. 🙂

With warmth,
Matt