Oh girl, I could’ve written every last word of this. I am currently doing the analyzing and stopping myself from freaking out and melting down thing all because of a couple texts that I have CHOSEN to interpret negatively.

The funny thing is that when I am talking to someone else about their relationship, I can totally advise on how to “be positive, do your own thing, just enjoy each other, stay in the moment, blablabla” BUT the minute anything uncomfortable happens in my own relationship, this all goes out the window. I’m trying (and making more progress than ever) to get and KEEP my mind calm, but god it’s a lot of work.

What you said that I can so relate to – “Suddenly the two-word message from him means that he’s losing interest in you or worse, has figured out how needy you really are and is right at this moment getting tired of it.” It sounds silly when you say it, and it sounds silly when I talk about feeling that way. But it’s so hard not to think that just because of one thing that I have said, all his feelings will change. Over-analytical to the max…and I have found the only way to quit it is to force myself. 🙂 When I realize that’s what I’m doing, I just have to take a break – go do something else. Go for a walk, do sudoku, talk to a friend, play with my dog…whatever. I’ve actually been seeing a counselor and we’re going to start tackling these obsessive negative thoughts. As soon as I decide I truly want to get rid of them!

I’ve only just started realizing that what I have been doing in past relationships has driven people away for the most part….the neediness, demands, insecurities. I trace these all back to expectations! So I am working (struggling!!) on releasing my expectations – being whole on my own and the person I am with is just a bonus. It is so much easier said than done, but we have to truly believe (and feel) that we will be alright even if boyfriend leaves for good tomorrow. If we’re worried about the relationship, it makes it hard to actually ENJOY and DO the relationship. You know? It’s like trying to force something. But you know this – because I think we are so on the same page regarding this stuff. SO yea….point being, I hear ya!!