Hi Steve!
I think we are similar when it comes to new relationships – I fall hard and quick and like to let the other person know. Which I have learned, KILLS it. You just have to hold back a little. For two reasons: First, it makes the other person sweat it a bit, which is a GOOD thing. Everyone wants a little chase. Second, and most importantly – for YOU. You need to figure out how you actually feel about this person and that takes a little time. From what I’ve read above, you seem to kind of decide that you are really into someone and can see a future with said person before you actually have spent a lot of time with her and KNOW her. Not trying to be harsh, because I do the SAME thing. I have just seen it blow up in my face. So at this point, have decided that the best thing to do is take things slowly. Which is probably what your aloof lady friend is doing as well. If you guys are hitting it off when you’re with each other, but she just holds back a little with talk of futures and feelings and stuff, to me that’s just a sign that she’s trying to do this the right way and build something solid, whomever it happens to be with.
So what I think you should do at this point: continue talking to and seeing both ladies, being honest about it if it comes up. You never know what will develop with either one of these people. I actually think not focusing ALL your energy on one person would be a good thing right now…it’ll give you a chance to not get too wrapped up too soon in either one of these ladies.
Anyway, just my two cents. Good luck. 🙂