Ahhh, good old shame and guilt. We meet again. 🙂

Worse than any pain that she or anyone can inflict on you, is the pain that you inflict upon yourself. Even when forgiven, told to forget about it and move on, we continue to replay the scene in our head and wish it never happened. And down we’ve fallen into the shame spiral only to react and drown ourselves deeper and deeper and deeper into the abyss and lose sight of the sunlight completely.

If I breakdown the events, you assessed a person and situation, came up with a hypothesis, tried an experiment by appealing to her sexual side, and your hypothesis was wrong. You acknowledged your error and apologized. She accepted your apology.

It sounds like she’s forgiven you, but can you forgive yourself? Can you be patient? Can you not react? Can you be okay with the discomfort? Can you be okay with the possibility that your relationship may change and go into a completely new and unexpected direction? Can you give her space? You’ve reached out and she hasn’t responded. She may or may not. Can you let that be her choice?

She can’t alleviate your discomfort, your pain, your suffering. She’s can’t make you feel better or make you feel less distraught. You can’t confront her and demand that she make this pain go-away. You can try, but I anticipate you’ll just get pushed away again and perhaps further away

Rather than confrontation and focusing on her, focus on you, forgive yourself, strive to be okay with who you are and what happened, learn from your experience, apply self-compassion, open your heart, and find inner peace. Then, maybe, you’ll radiate an energy that is calm, composed, confident, and more approachable thereby attracting her or perhaps another woman. Can you be open to that possibility?