Hi Petra,
I am so sorry to hear of your situation. It must be terrible to feel so rejected by the rest of your husband’s family. You do not deserve to be treated in this way but unfortunately you are.

I’m sure that it doesn’t feel like it but the reaction of his wider family says nothing about you and everything about them and their own thoughts, feelings and behaviours. In the same way the way that your husband and that you choose to react to the situation is entirely in your powers. Can you continue in a marriage with this level of conflict, how can you create a better environment without giving up your power by pleasing others when it goes against your own values?

Perhaps your husband feels out of control of the situation, he loves all of his family and does not want to choose between you or act and be responsible for creating further hurt. So he does nothing. I can think of 3 possible choices, you may be able to think of more; you continue with the current situation and understand that his wider family do not have enough love for you, you go your own way with the consequences that creates, or you find a way that you and your husband can communicate your wishes in a loving way and be prepared that his family may or may not reciprocate. One thing you cannot continue to do for your own health is to continue to please and give up your own power. I sincerely wish you well and that you find a way through where you, your husband, your children and your wider families can find peace.

Simon