Hi Leica,
You are not alone with your thoughts… I have been feeling exactly the same way.. I have had several events over e past three years that have changed everything I thought I knew. My mum passed away, I lost my job, then it split with my bf of 5 years, then the next guy I went out with turned out to be awfully emotionally manipulative and after ten months I ended up horribly depressed to the point of feeling like I had nothing to of live for except my dog.. I recently had to put my dog down as she was really poorly, my current relationship of 6 months is on really rocky ground right now.. I left a job I loved for two years to pursue a new career and take myself out of my comfort zone, my housemate and very close friend moved out a few weeks ago..I feel anxious all of the time.

I’m still smiling though. I’m sleeping really badly at the moment and I have constant butterflies in my stomach, but im try to reassure myself but asking in any given situation what’s the worst that can happen..

It sounds like you are having an awful time of it.. When I felt really awful at the start of this year.. My dad told me that nothing is permanent and this too shall pass.

I really hope you do start to feel better and feel you have a reason to get up.. Have you spoken in length to your doctor/friends about how you feel?

X