I think expectation is only becomes problematic when we hinge our psychological integrity on it. That is, when it becomes a fantasy by which we attempt to escape our present suffering. We perpetually think ‘when x happens, I’ll finally be able to be at ease in life’, usually unaware that it’s this very barrier we create between the present and our ‘selves’ that makes us uncomfortable in the first place. For as we diminish our openness to life we also diminish our sensitivity to it, progressively creating the sense that something is missing.

As with every habit, the more we try to escape by means of expectation, the more alienated in the present moment we tend to feel. As this habit becomes more and more entrenched, even when our expectations come to pass our discomfort still remains, though perhaps less desperately for a short while. But if our expectations fall through this habit can go into overdrive, depending on the importance we placed on them as a means of escape. In severe cases we may feel numb to our experience, entirely isolated from the present moment.

So the solution is not to abandon expectations. You’d be shooting yourself in the foot if you tried, as the assumption would be something like ‘If I learn not to depend on expectations, I can expect to be more at ease.’ This circularity is also implicit if you were to tell yourself be open to everything whenever you feel numb or isolated. Rather, you can only change the escape habit by cultivating the new habit of simply watching your experience non-judgmentally. If you wish for something to occur, just notice that expectation as it arises in the present, and any feelings that come with it. Regular practice of meditation helps with this.