Hi J,
Thanks for the insight. It is always helpful hearing from another person who has struggled with similar situation. It feels hopeless sometimes and I only hope its possible to stop ruminating over what had happened and what was said. Overnight he replaced me – what did I do wrong? It gets obsessive and I really want it to go away because it is like an physical pinch. It crawls into your mind – everything you do and with it comes low self-esteem, rejection and pure sadness.
It seems like the golden rule with these issues is to just focus on yourself – it is easier said than done and is an exhaustive cliche – but at the end of the day the buck stops with us and how we can remove ourselves from the pain associated with the negativity. You also get tired thinking trying to reconcile with the person you knew and who they are in the present – that being one you never thought would hurt you.
Since my post, I still hurt a lot and keep ruminating over that one text message that said it all and I am still in disbelief but am taking measures to seal him off from my well being. I feel absolutely humiliated having placing me in a situation with someone else but I’m taking measures to let him go – deleting him off my Facebook and will be blocking his number.
I wrote him a message explaining how hurt I felt by his actions but wished him best. Trying very hard to be more compassionate and breathe through the anger and sadness but difficult to do. You just want to reclaim what has been taken from you at the end of the day – dignity, respect, and self-worth which this person did not exercise toward you. Taking it back means expressing anger and sadness and working through it. Exhausting path indeed. I hope it passes.