Hi Emunah,
You have certainly done a lot and are mostly being reasonable. I say mostly because you need to address feelings of giving up on yourself. You need to do things to keep your spirit up. Focus on yourself. Get help if you are still having bad thoughts about going on in your life.
Second, a PhD can take 6-12 years and some never get done. My ex has yet to.
http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2010/04/18/education/edlife/18edlifephd-gr.html?ref=edlife
So, find out where he is in the process realistically. Unless he is in the final month of defending his dissertation – to be done, sounds like he needs to get a job to help you. Can he find work in his field? If not, something that earns income and maybe let’s him do homework.
Relationships need good communication. If he is shutting this off, tell him that’s not acceptable. He needs to work with you to meet your needs and the needs of your baby.
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