Hi Bunny,
I see myself in your daughter. The only difference was, I didn’t even know I was doing it, much less why! This is a totally normal, human reaction to an absent parent.
You are not a failure ~ you are not done raising her!
This is what my mother ~ the best of mothers ~ did: She sent me away for the summer to visit extended family. New people, new places, new experiences.
This is what I did when one of my sons got in trouble ~ I limited his money and his time. Keep Them Busy!! Use the perfect built in pretext of getting ready for college applications. You need to visit colleges (weekends away with mom), she needs to improve her SAT scores (SAT classes = Saturday AMs busy), she needs to get leadership skills (running a club, going on a church relief trip, joining National Charity League, or becoming a National Merit Scholar), and getting a part-time job (someone has to help pay for all this!)
Tell her that no one has time for relationships Junior/Senior year. It’s time to get ready to get down to the business of growing up. She will probably still be boy/man crazy and have Daddy Issues ~ but tell her to act on it in college ~ at least she’ll be an adult.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 