Starting any relationship in fear of duplicity only attracts duplicity. It seems as though Using guided principles such as acceptance and compassion would lessen the implications that morality is somehow tied to ego. Morality is a set of constructs placed as boundaries to make sure the people we let in our life treats us with respect and goodness. Jerry did not receive Martha with an open heart or spirit because he was expecting the other shoe to drop and for Martha to be untrustworthy so everything she did was a test and she failed it due to the Laws of Attraction. He projected unworthiness in her and so she failed him because he was expecting that. Another man, who was more compassionate and open hearted would have seen the situation differently. He would have seen someone used to rejection due to her past and would have understood that she lied from an emotional, fragile place instead of a malicious one. Expectations are good but they lead to attachment to ideas rather than a connection of spirit. Also, sometimes expectations can be flawed due to pain and hurt that needs to be dealt with from previous relationships rather than move onto new ones where they taint the new person, or make them seem duplicitous or malicious due to residual anger and pain. The two people you referred to both became ill from depression due to each other so it is best they move on. This is what is termed a toxic relationship, and they np both sounded like unhealthy, immature people. Couples who know compassion, who do not rely on each other to make the other happy and who are well adjusted would probably have the tools to deal with past omissions and treat each other with compassion and respect instead of duplicity and depression.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 1 month ago by Tir.